Economics of abuse

[i***@gmail.com]

Economic thought is of enormous use in psychology. An economist knows
when someone is being unfairly compensated, falsely advertised to,
stolen from, or slandered and injured in order to keep them in a raw
deal. And what we see in abusive relationships is one or all of these
things.

There are people who come on being nice when wooing, then turn into
monsters when the person that they've wooed is theirs. In business,
that's known as false advertising, and the same concept can rightfully
be applied to
relationships, where what's at stake is not a mere product but
people's lives. If someone does that to you, they've deceived you, and
you have every right for returning the product or leaving the
relationship. You have been
given a false demo. You've been deceived. Trying to make things "work
out" only empowers the deception and makes more people believe that
deception is the way to go. The only way to ethical outcome is to see
the deception, know everything based on deception to be based on false
premises and hence made corrupt, and leave on the grounds of having
been given false advertisin.

There are people who want to make the partner believe themselves
worthless, damaged, evil or insane.The correct response to such people
is: "If I'm this way, then why do you want to be with me? What's wrong
with you? Can't you find yourself someone whom you can respect, or did
you want me so that you can treat me like rubbish?
And what does that say about you?" Basically, if the person sees you
that way, then for them to stay with you is an act of dishonesty.
There is no reason why any sane person would be with someone he or she
sees in that manner; and their act of remaining with that person shows
the things they say for the lie that they are.

The people who do the latter commit, basically, a theft. They fail to
value what they want, fail to reward it, and want to feed on it
without adequately compensating it for the utility that they get. So
then they want the partner
(and frequently others) to think that her value is low or negative,
when their choice of staying with the person
shows that they get utility from being with her that they would not
get from being with somebody else. Which means that they are
committing a theft, and that their actions are corrupt in entirety.
Which busts whatever pretensions toward sanity or morality that they
may assert.

The greater the amount of bludgeoning the person into believing her as
having negative value, the more apparent the injustice intended or
committed against her. We see this on social level all the time. A
valuable worker can only be made to work without adequate compensation
if they or the market believe they are unworthy, or if they are
threatened or menaced or undermined in one or another way. If the
person were truly worthless, then the partner
would not be with her. And if he is with her and wants her to think
she is worthless, then his behavior of staying
with her is a refutation of his claims.

Psychological violence is preparation for injustice and way by which
it is maintained. Not only is it violation in
its own right - sometimes extreme violation; but much more apparently,
it is a way to reduce in the person's mind
(and that of others) the value of themselves, in order that they could
acquiesce to an arrangement where they are
given a raw deal. This is true especially in these cases: When someone
is with someone who is not willing to treat
them according to their merits; when someone is being treated like
rubbish, whatever their actual worth; when someone is being bludgeoned
- physically, morally, or legally - into a situation where they are
treated for less than their merits; or when someone is being
brainwashed into staying in cultures or situations where they are
unappreciated.

So if you find yourself being subject by your partner to hounding,
battery, character assassination and slander, you know that not only
are you with a bastard, but that an injustice is being done to you.
Not only are those things inthemselves are injustice, but they are
artificial ways to maintain injustice by twisting your view of self
and
others' view of you to be artificially negative. These things, when
found in a relationship or in a culture, are
certain evidence of a personal or a systemic injustice. The more these
things are found, the greater the injustice
that they are used to maintain.

Ilya Shambat
http://www.myspace.com/ibshambat
http://ibshambat7.blogspot.com

[Erin]

Post by i***@gmail.com
Economic thought is of enormous use in psychology. An economist knows
when someone is being unfairly compensated, falsely advertised to,
stolen from, or slandered and injured in order to keep them in a raw
deal. And what we see in abusive relationships is one or all of these
things.
There are people who come on being nice when wooing, then turn into
monsters when the person that they've wooed is theirs. In business,
that's known as false advertising, and the same concept can rightfully
be applied to
relationships, where what's at stake is not a mere product but
people's lives. If someone does that to you, they've deceived you, and
you have every right for returning the product or leaving the
relationship. You have been
given a false demo. You've been deceived. Trying to make things "work
out" only empowers the deception and makes more people believe that
deception is the way to go. The only way to ethical outcome is to see
the deception, know everything based on deception to be based on false
premises and hence made corrupt, and leave on the grounds of having
been given false advertisin.
There are people who want to make the partner believe themselves
worthless, damaged, evil or insane.The correct response to such people
is: "If I'm this way, then why do you want to be with me? What's wrong
with you? Can't you find yourself someone whom you can respect, or did
you want me so that you can treat me like rubbish?
And what does that say about you?" Basically, if the person sees you
that way, then for them to stay with you is an act of dishonesty.
There is no reason why any sane person would be with someone he or she
sees in that manner; and their act of remaining with that person shows
the things they say for the lie that they are.
The people who do the latter commit, basically, a theft. They fail to
value what they want, fail to reward it, and want to feed on it
without adequately compensating it for the utility that they get. So
then they want the partner
(and frequently others) to think that her value is low or negative,
when their choice of staying with the person
shows that they get utility from being with her that they would not
get from being with somebody else. Which means that they are
committing a theft, and that their actions are corrupt in entirety.
Which busts whatever pretensions toward sanity or morality that they
may assert.
The greater the amount of bludgeoning the person into believing her as
having negative value, the more apparent the injustice intended or
committed against her. We see this on social level all the time. A
valuable worker can only be made to work without adequate compensation
if they or the market believe they are unworthy, or if they are
threatened or menaced or undermined in one or another way. If the
person were truly worthless, then the partner
would not be with her. And if he is with her and wants her to think
she is worthless, then his behavior of staying
with her is a refutation of his claims.
Psychological violence is preparation for injustice and way by which
it is maintained. Not only is it violation in
its own right - sometimes extreme violation; but much more apparently,
it is a way to reduce in the person's mind
(and that of others) the value of themselves, in order that they could
acquiesce to an arrangement where they are
given a raw deal. This is true especially in these cases: When someone
is with someone who is not willing to treat
them according to their merits; when someone is being treated like
rubbish, whatever their actual worth; when someone is being bludgeoned
- physically, morally, or legally - into a situation where they are
treated for less than their merits; or when someone is being
brainwashed into staying in cultures or situations where they are
unappreciated.
So if you find yourself being subject by your partner to hounding,
battery, character assassination and slander, you know that not only
are you with a bastard, but that an injustice is being done to you.
Not only are those things inthemselves are injustice, but they are
artificial ways to maintain injustice by twisting your view of self
and
others' view of you to be artificially negative. These things, when
found in a relationship or in a culture, are
certain evidence of a personal or a systemic injustice. The more these
things are found, the greater the injustice
that they are used to maintain.
Ilya Shambat
http://www.myspace.com/ibshambat
http://ibshambat7.blogspot.com

Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin

[i***@hotmail.com]

Post by Erin
Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin,

The term "weak" is very judgmental and often does not reflect the
reality of the situation. I've seen many people (mostly women, but not
exclusively) who have a lot of strength, but are in a disadvantaged
position or surrounded by people who want to destroy their confidence
or their self-image or their rights and liberties, who end up in a
position of weakness because what they are facing has generations more
of experience in nastiness and abuse than they do in facing it. The
Muslim women and African women are generally not weak people, but
because of what they are dealing with end up with all kinds of warped
perceptions (and quite justified fears) that keep them strangulated to
a greater extent than the people in better places.

It is also useful to look at what are the foundations of the person's
will. If someone's will is tied to such things as the Quran, then the
person may have a great difficulty facing Quran-based oppression even
if she has great personal power. So it's not just the matter of strong
person vs. weak person; it's also of value to note the surrounding
climate, the influences, and what the person faces both externally and
within.

The people would generally have more trouble leaving such situations
as the ghetto, the Taliban or North Korea than they would New York or
California. That is the case both for strong and weak people, and I
doubt there are many people who could sincerely claim that the North
Koreans, the Afghans or the people in the ghetto are weaker on average
than people in freer societies or people who face less hardship. So
it's useful to see the totality of the situation and then make
judgments as to someone's strength or weakness, when given more
thorough understanding of what they face.

Glad you liked my post.

Ilya.

[punk]

Post by i***@hotmail.com

Post by Erin
Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin,
The term "weak" is very judgmental and often does not reflect the
reality of the situation. I've seen many people (mostly women, but not
exclusively) who have a lot of strength, but are in a disadvantaged
position or surrounded by people who want to destroy their confidence
or their self-image or their rights and liberties, who end up in a
position of weakness because what they are facing has generations more
of experience in nastiness and abuse than they do in facing it. The
Muslim women and African women are generally not weak people, but
because of what they are dealing with end up with all kinds of warped
perceptions (and quite justified fears) that keep them strangulated to
a greater extent than the people in better places.
It is also useful to look at what are the foundations of the person's
will. If someone's will is tied to such things as the Quran, then the
person may have a great difficulty facing Quran-based oppression even
if she has great personal power. So it's not just the matter of strong
person vs. weak person; it's also of value to note the surrounding
climate, the influences, and what the person faces both externally and
within.
The people would generally have more trouble leaving such situations
as the ghetto, the Taliban or North Korea than they would New York or
California. That is the case both for strong and weak people, and I
doubt there are many people who could sincerely claim that the North
Koreans, the Afghans or the people in the ghetto are weaker on average
than people in freer societies or people who face less hardship. So
it's useful to see the totality of the situation and then make
judgments as to someone's strength or weakness, when given more
thorough understanding of what they face.
Glad you liked my post.
Ilya.

i agree with you completely, ilya. i know the patterns well. they
are too familiar to me.

i am not a weak person, but, have been in situations where i had the
disadvantage which caused me to be in a weak position. sometimes, the
economics of abuse can actually be about economics...

[i***@gmail.com]

Post by i***@hotmail.com

Post by Erin
Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin,
The term "weak" is very judgmental and often does not reflect the
reality of the situation. I've seen many people (mostly women, but not
exclusively) who have a lot of strength, but are in a disadvantaged
position or surrounded by people who want to destroy their confidence
or their self-image or their rights and liberties, who end up in a
position of weakness because what they are facing has generations more
of experience in nastiness and abuse than they do in facing it. The
Muslim women and African women are generally not weak people, but
because of what they are dealing with end up with all kinds of warped
perceptions (and quite justified fears) that keep them strangulated to
a greater extent than the people in better places.
It is also useful to look at what are the foundations of the person's
will. If someone's will is tied to such things as the Quran, then the
person may have a great difficulty facing Quran-based oppression even
if she has great personal power. So it's not just the matter of strong
person vs. weak person; it's also of value to note the surrounding
climate, the influences, and what the person faces both externally and
within.
The people would generally have more trouble leaving such situations
as the ghetto, the Taliban or North Korea than they would New York or
California. That is the case both for strong and weak people, and I
doubt there are many people who could sincerely claim that the North
Koreans, the Afghans or the people in the ghetto are weaker on average
than people in freer societies or people who face less hardship. So
it's useful to see the totality of the situation and then make
judgments as to someone's strength or weakness, when given more
thorough understanding of what they face.
Glad you liked my post.
Ilya.

i agree with you completely, ilya.  i know the patterns well.  they
are too familiar to me.
i am not a weak person, but, have been in situations where i had the
disadvantage which caused me to be in a weak position.  sometimes, the
economics of abuse can actually be about economics

Or religion, or tradition, or politics, or ideology, or psychology.

Before getting involved with someone, it pays to find out what they
exactly believe. And another thing it pays to find out is if good
treatment of the partner is something that they believe in as part of
whatever belief system they have.

[Erin]

Post by i***@hotmail.com

Post by Erin
Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin,
The term "weak" is very judgmental and often does not reflect the
reality of the situation. I've seen many people (mostly women, but not
exclusively) who have a lot of strength, but are in a disadvantaged
position or surrounded by people who want to destroy their confidence
or their self-image or their rights and liberties, who end up in a
position of weakness because what they are facing has generations more
of experience in nastiness and abuse than they do in facing it. The
Muslim women and African women are generally not weak people, but
because of what they are dealing with end up with all kinds of warped
perceptions (and quite justified fears) that keep them strangulated to
a greater extent than the people in better places.
It is also useful to look at what are the foundations of the person's
will. If someone's will is tied to such things as the Quran, then the
person may have a great difficulty facing Quran-based oppression even
if she has great personal power. So it's not just the matter of strong
person vs. weak person; it's also of value to note the surrounding
climate, the influences, and what the person faces both externally and
within.
The people would generally have more trouble leaving such situations
as the ghetto, the Taliban or North Korea than they would New York or
California. That is the case both for strong and weak people, and I
doubt there are many people who could sincerely claim that the North
Koreans, the Afghans or the people in the ghetto are weaker on average
than people in freer societies or people who face less hardship. So
it's useful to see the totality of the situation and then make
judgments as to someone's strength or weakness, when given more
thorough understanding of what they face.
Glad you liked my post.
Ilya.

I meant that a person can be weak enough to abuse, betray, beat up
or abandon his nearest and dearest. Some of the biggest bullies
in history were really weaklings-- they could not stand up to what
they professed to be their high principles.

Erin

[Jack]

Post by Erin

Post by i***@hotmail.com

Post by Erin
Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin,
The term "weak" is very judgmental and often does not reflect the
reality of the situation. I've seen many people (mostly women, but not
exclusively) who have a lot of strength, but are in a disadvantaged
position or surrounded by people who want to destroy their confidence
or their self-image or their rights and liberties, who end up in a
position of weakness because what they are facing has generations more
of experience in nastiness and abuse than they do in facing it. The
Muslim women and African women are generally not weak people, but
because of what they are dealing with end up with all kinds of warped
perceptions (and quite justified fears) that keep them strangulated to
a greater extent than the people in better places.
It is also useful to look at what are the foundations of the person's
will. If someone's will is tied to such things as the Quran, then the
person may have a great difficulty facing Quran-based oppression even
if she has great personal power. So it's not just the matter of strong
person vs. weak person; it's also of value to note the surrounding
climate, the influences, and what the person faces both externally and
within.
The people would generally have more trouble leaving such situations
as the ghetto, the Taliban or North Korea than they would New York or
California. That is the case both for strong and weak people, and I
doubt there are many people who could sincerely claim that the North
Koreans, the Afghans or the people in the ghetto are weaker on average
than people in freer societies or people who face less hardship. So
it's useful to see the totality of the situation and then make
judgments as to someone's strength or weakness, when given more
thorough understanding of what they face.
Glad you liked my post.
Ilya.

I meant that a person can be weak enough to abuse, betray, beat up
or abandon his nearest and dearest. Some of the biggest bullies
in history were really weaklings-- they could not stand up to what
they professed to be their high principles.
Erin

Professing high principles is a good way to get other people to do
things for you.

[i***@gmail.com]

Post by Jack
Professing high principles is a good way to get other people to do
things for you.

So is appealing to lowest common denominator.

The ideologies that attack high principle only empower another kind of
bullies.

One must look at all levels.

[Rhiannon]

Post by Erin
Yup, that sums it up; unfortunately, a weak person does not
have the strength to be authentic about himself or his relationships.
Good post.

Erin,

The term "weak" is very judgmental and often does not reflect the
reality of the situation. I've seen many people (mostly women, but not
exclusively) who have a lot of strength, but are in a disadvantaged
position or surrounded by people who want to destroy their confidence
or their self-image or their rights and liberties, who end up in a
position of weakness because what they are facing has generations more
of experience in nastiness and abuse than they do in facing it. The
Muslim women and African women are generally not weak people, but
because of what they are dealing with end up with all kinds of warped
perceptions (and quite justified fears) that keep them strangulated to
a greater extent than the people in better places.

It is also useful to look at what are the foundations of the person's
will. If someone's will is tied to such things as the Quran, then the
person may have a great difficulty facing Quran-based oppression even
if she has great personal power. So it's not just the matter of strong
person vs. weak person; it's also of value to note the surrounding
climate, the influences, and what the person faces both externally and
within.

The people would generally have more trouble leaving such situations
as the ghetto, the Taliban or North Korea than they would New York or
California. That is the case both for strong and weak people, and I
doubt there are many people who could sincerely claim that the North
Koreans, the Afghans or the people in the ghetto are weaker on average
than people in freer societies or people who face less hardship. So
it's useful to see the totality of the situation and then make
judgments as to someone's strength or weakness, when given more
thorough understanding of what they face.

Glad you liked my post.

Ilya.

Beautifully said Ilya!

--
Rhi

[Justin]

What does one expect coming from the Melbourne suburb of Epping, move to
the eastern suburbs, you might just enjoy your life a bit more and see
things a little different!



<***@gmail.com> wrote in message news:5a7bc6e4-305d-4ff9-acc2-***@d4g2000prg.googlegroups.com...
| Economic thought is of enormous use in psychology. An economist knows
| when someone is being unfairly compensated, falsely advertised to,
| stolen from, or slandered and injured in order to keep them in a raw
| deal. And what we see in abusive relationships is one or all of these
| things.
|
| There are people who come on being nice when wooing, then turn into
| monsters when the person that they've wooed is theirs. In business,
| that's known as false advertising, and the same concept can rightfully
| be applied to
| relationships, where what's at stake is not a mere product but
| people's lives. If someone does that to you, they've deceived you, and
| you have every right for returning the product or leaving the
| relationship. You have been
| given a false demo. You've been deceived. Trying to make things "work
| out" only empowers the deception and makes more people believe that
| deception is the way to go. The only way to ethical outcome is to see
| the deception, know everything based on deception to be based on false
| premises and hence made corrupt, and leave on the grounds of having
| been given false advertisin.
|
| There are people who want to make the partner believe themselves
| worthless, damaged, evil or insane.The correct response to such people
| is: "If I'm this way, then why do you want to be with me? What's wrong
| with you? Can't you find yourself someone whom you can respect, or did
| you want me so that you can treat me like rubbish?
| And what does that say about you?" Basically, if the person sees you
| that way, then for them to stay with you is an act of dishonesty.
| There is no reason why any sane person would be with someone he or she
| sees in that manner; and their act of remaining with that person shows
| the things they say for the lie that they are.
|
| The people who do the latter commit, basically, a theft. They fail to
| value what they want, fail to reward it, and want to feed on it
| without adequately compensating it for the utility that they get. So
| then they want the partner
| (and frequently others) to think that her value is low or negative,
| when their choice of staying with the person
| shows that they get utility from being with her that they would not
| get from being with somebody else. Which means that they are
| committing a theft, and that their actions are corrupt in entirety.
| Which busts whatever pretensions toward sanity or morality that they
| may assert.
|
| The greater the amount of bludgeoning the person into believing her as
| having negative value, the more apparent the injustice intended or
| committed against her. We see this on social level all the time. A
| valuable worker can only be made to work without adequate compensation
| if they or the market believe they are unworthy, or if they are
| threatened or menaced or undermined in one or another way. If the
| person were truly worthless, then the partner
| would not be with her. And if he is with her and wants her to think
| she is worthless, then his behavior of staying
| with her is a refutation of his claims.
|
| Psychological violence is preparation for injustice and way by which
| it is maintained. Not only is it violation in
| its own right - sometimes extreme violation; but much more apparently,
| it is a way to reduce in the person's mind
| (and that of others) the value of themselves, in order that they could
| acquiesce to an arrangement where they are
| given a raw deal. This is true especially in these cases: When someone
| is with someone who is not willing to treat
| them according to their merits; when someone is being treated like
| rubbish, whatever their actual worth; when someone is being bludgeoned
| - physically, morally, or legally - into a situation where they are
| treated for less than their merits; or when someone is being
| brainwashed into staying in cultures or situations where they are
| unappreciated.
|
| So if you find yourself being subject by your partner to hounding,
| battery, character assassination and slander, you know that not only
| are you with a bastard, but that an injustice is being done to you.
| Not only are those things inthemselves are injustice, but they are
| artificial ways to maintain injustice by twisting your view of self
| and
| others' view of you to be artificially negative. These things, when
| found in a relationship or in a culture, are
| certain evidence of a personal or a systemic injustice. The more these
| things are found, the greater the injustice
| that they are used to maintain.
|
| Ilya Shambat
| http://www.myspace.com/ibshambat
| http://ibshambat7.blogspot.com

[i***@gmail.com]

What does one expect coming from the Melbourne suburb of Epping,  move to
the eastern suburbs, you might just enjoy your life a bit more and see
things a little different!

Yes, yes. Party on Wayne and Garth, while Dirty Ilya does the dirty
work.

[Justin]

Sure, next time I'm over your way I'll look you up......

What does one expect coming from the Melbourne suburb of Epping, move to
the eastern suburbs, you might just enjoy your life a bit more and see
things a little different!

Yes, yes. Party on Wayne and Garth, while Dirty Ilya does the dirty
work.

[i***@gmail.com]

What does one expect coming from the Melbourne suburb of Epping,  move to
the eastern suburbs, you might just enjoy your life a bit more and see
things a little different!

Yes, yes. Party on dudes.

[Justin]

You've already said that!

What does one expect coming from the Melbourne suburb of Epping, move to
the eastern suburbs, you might just enjoy your life a bit more and see
things a little different!

Yes, yes. Party on dudes.